January 2024

I spent the liminal space of Christmas, New Years and into January in the woods, in Wilton, resting and burning logs on a fire for two weeks, mostly in my own little egg-ness with the dogs. This was sooooo necessary, and something I leaned into.

My. main vibe this month was being an egg. Like going inward and holding myself because I still had/have grief and had such a heavy heart I needed to cry and mourn so much. It was highly precious time for me. I discovered Jilian Pothier, a whole NEW LEVEL of teachings around the feminine and I didn’t know but something I’ve been searching for so now im in the group. I joined a moon gathering also and did a reading with Charis, and had so many confirmations and validation, ideas come through and see now how like all my creative ideas and the little sparks I get are so special and true and how I can give myself permission to create them. I painted a really beautiful colourful painting for the first time in a long time, bought huge solid expensive side tables for my room and the most luscious sheepskins.

All this to say January was a time of shedding and clearing space. And in that space, there came a hot sexy new thing texting this man I fucked once 8 years ago and it made me super excited about myself, and maybe i’ve just been feeling myself anyway and it came through just because. So it’s been an interesting text exchange…..I bought lingerie. Not sure if it’s really about me wanting this man, but I like the idea and feeling of wanting his cock and to be fucked and to be in my sexiness. Learning about MEN, MONEY, GOD.

I want, however, to manifest more and to be in the depth of my soul desire. That’s what this time brought me STRAIGHT into, that inkling of wanting to even KNOW on that LEVEL, what my desire FEELS like to me, in my body.

I feel that on the level of body/emotion and mind/ideas, there are clearings that need to happen first like clearing a lens so that the purity and TRUTH of what is on the deeper level can be felt and sensed. I also sense that I’ve been shedding those layers of false ness, mainly beliefs about myself and it is an imperfect journey and process which is why I love the moon gatherings genuinely appreciate those.